My Fault
The song “My Fault” by Shaboozey and Noah Cyrus will pull on the heartstrings of many. It will really hit the spouse of an addict hard as it accurately describes the general feelings and emotions of both parties. Listen to the regular version here first and then read the lyrics with the insertion of real thoughts, words, actions and moments from my life.
(Wife)
Is it my fault you’re lost?
It’s hard for me to see you when you’re drunk
In a bathroom stall cold garage, takin’ pills puffin smoke, givin’ up
You’re tryin’ find your friends peace but it’s too dark
Tell me how you’re getting home leaving soon, you took the car to another hotel room
Try to call me before you’re passed out in the yard bed
Feeling low, getting high, where did everything go wrong?
You say that it’s the universe everything is fine and blame it on the stars my heart
(Alcoholic)
Yeah, I can only handle heartache
When there’s bourbon whiskey in my hand
If I had to relieve all the hard days, I would not do it all again
Because I’m getting better at the bar games sneaking in
Should have been a better man
So don’t you keep on trying to fix me [instead “just leave me alone”]
You’ve done everything you can [and “I resent you” in the end]
But this road you led me down of forced therapy and hopeful recovery is too long
It ain’t nothing like the streets of drugs, alcohol & abuse that I grew up on
When I beg you not to go, “I’m prepared” you’ll leave again [like they all have]
Well, I guess I wasn’t enough in the end.
Is it my fault you’re lost? [because you can’t decide to stay or go]
It’s hard for me to see you when you’re drunk hurt
In a bathroom stall the house, takin’ pills crying, giving up
You’re trying to find your friends some hope but it’s too dark
Tell me how you’re getting home out, you took yes just take the car
You call text me desperate pleas before you’re passed out as you toss and turn in the yard other room
Feeling low, getting praying high, where did everything go wrong?
You say that it’s the universe my fault and blame it on the stars booze
(Wife)
Well, I made up my decision
When you and me were sitting, barely living
Co-existing, drifting slowly into dust
[but then I questioned whether I could live without you]
With you I’m only getting
Eden or Armageddon
So I’m beginning to forgetting the last memories of us
[I’m trying to be strong and let go]
Cause this road of addiction you led me down is too long
It ain’t nothing like the streets of God, family and values I grew up on
When I beg you not to go drink, you leave hit the liquor store again
Was my love for you not enough in the end?
Is it my fault you’re lost worse?
It’s hard for me to see you when you’re drunk
In the bathroom stall door, takin’ pills glassy eyes, givin’ up
You’re trying to find your friends some laughter but it’s too dark hard
Tell me how you’re getting home going to bed, you took the car “early morning”
You call text me before you’re passed out in the yard goodnight after hours on your phone
Feeling low isolated days, getting high social media nights, where did everything go wrong?
You say that it’s the universe stressful day and blame it on the stars job
(Wife)
You say that it’s the universe never your fault and blame it on the stars everyone else
(Alcoholic)
You say that it’s the universe always my fault and blame it on the stars my past
(Husband & Wife)
But this road you led me down is too long [neither of us can go much longer]
It ain’t nothing like the streets I grew up on [our worlds are so different]
When I beg you not to go, you leave again [he mentally checks out & I have one foot out the door]
Well, I guess I wasn’t we weren’t enough [for each other] in the end
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